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Myths That Must be Stopped and Counter Arguments


There are and have been several myths that need to be stopped if the parental rights movement is to succeed. Many of these continue because today’s so-called advocates will not take the time to do research and rely on Google and other search engines expecting that what they see on the first page is the correct answer to their question. 

Search engines pick the most popular answer not the best.

I will briefly discuss some and arguments that are often used against changes to the law.

Federal Incentives

It is well past time for everyone to understand how Federal Incentives and Child Support work. For years it has been claimed, FALSELY, that child support was high and done that way to increase the amount of money that states received and that the states their funds based on the amount that they collect.

The real amount they MAKE (implying a profit) from federal incentives is ZERO!
This myth has gone on for years and is one of the biggest ever told because people do not understand federal incentives and what the incentives pay for and are based on. The Federal Incentive s pay the states a portion of their cost towards the administrative costs poof running the child support program. Percentages differ slightly state to state but they are generally a little over 50% percent.

I will use Ohio's numbers on child support.
Ohio spent $575 Million on administrative costs to collect child support; they received $278 Million in Federal incentives. That is a LOSS of $197 Million . Total amount collected was $3.2 Billion in child support that either went directly to the other party in a pass thru order or towards the reimbursement of TANF funds.
Common sense shows they made no money thru federal incentives.

I am going to back this will Nebraska Numbers.

Total CS Collected and Distributed - $200,318,373

Totals collected thru Wage withholding - $124,565,727

Incentive payments – $4,651,764

Approximate amount spent to collect by the state - $10,025,353

Cost effectiveness for NE - $3.90 which means that they can only collect 80% of the total available pool made available by the Federal government.

Maximum allowable % of federal pool – 58% (NE actual is 46.4%)


The Following is from US GAO report that explains expenditure and reimbursement. (Original reimbursement rate was 66% and was then reduced to 58% max)

Total CS Collected and Distributed - $200,318,373

Totals collected thru Wage withholding - $124,565,727

Incentive payments – $4,651,764

Approximate amount spent to collect by the state - $10,025,353

Cost effectiveness for NE - $3.90 which means that they can only collect 80% of the total available pool made available by the Federal government.

Maximum allowable % of federal pool – 58% (NE actual is 46.4%)

The Following is from US GAO report that explains expenditure and reimbursement. (Original reimbursement rate was 66% and was then reduced to 58% max)

The general CSE federal matching rate is 66%. This means that for every dollar that a state spends on its CSE program, the federal government will reimburse the state 66 cents. So if the state spends $1 on its program, the federal share of that expenditure is 66 cents and the state share of that expenditure is 34 cents. The algebraic formula for this relationship is represented by .66/.34=x/1. Thereby, if the state share of the expenditure is $1, the federal share is $1.94 (i.e., the federal share is 1.94 times the state share), and the total expenditure by the state is $2.94 ($1+$1.94). Similarly, if the state share of expenditures amounted solely to the incentive payment of $504 million, the federal share would amount to 1.94 times that amount, or $978 million, translating into $1.482 billion in CSE expenditures/funding.

Now anyone still want to tell me that the state is making money off child support? They are losing 53.6 cents on every dollar they spend.

These numbers are from the most current Federal Child Support Report dated as of 2014. I have to use the actual numbers from 2012 rather than 2013 because the latter is not complete.


Poundage fees are not associated with federal incentives and are a state issue, Ohio recently admitted that this was a tax. The small fee that is added is based on the amount of the child support order and is designed to recover costs associated with the collection and distribution of child support.

You cannot change a system of law if you do not understand it completely. Understanding it takes a complete and thorough reading of existing law and policies.

Title IV Social Security Act

There is another false statement that has been floating around about Social Security funding the federal incentives for child support and CAPRA. This is completely false as the incentive funds come from the general fund not the Social Security Trust Fund.

Title IV Social Security Act is a general area where other federal laws that don't fit into specific areas but are related to family are placed.

Equal Custody Automatically Means No Child Support Paid

Wrong again and while it is possible to have a zero child support order under current law it must be approved by the courts.

Child support is a touchy issue for many legislators and telling them that there should be no child support in equal custody will have you out the door quickly. The message sent when you say this is that you do not want to support your child at all.

Child support as originally created was to assure that a child had similar financial support within both households. The guidelines tables were created with this in mind and while many think that the amount paid is excessive, that perception comes from the fact that their order was not properly calculated in the beginning.

It is the duty and obligation of every parent to support their child in the best manner possible financially and that does mean both parents. You had a household prior to the dissolution of your relationship where you may have had the opportunity to be a stay at home mommy or daddy but you have ended that and are now in the real world where the only one responsible is yourself.  When that relationship ended, the responsibility of your ex-partner to support you ended and the only one that they are and will ever be responsible for in the end is their children. So it is get a job time, like it or not.

Like it or not “child support” is here to stay and any misguided thoughts of eliminating it completely disintegrated when the Federal Government changed the law and decided that it was time to attempt to reclaim the massive expenses of TANF.  One more part of the proof of failure of this Nation’s the war on poverty.

There is a way to gain support from legislators that I have been using and it is successful. What you need to do is tell them that support orders should be automatically deviated based on time with the child. This change in child support law has been embraced by review councils nationwide and the ability to deviate from the stated tables in contained within every state law. Doing this automatically is a time saver for the Courts and a motion and hearing savings for the parties.

Equal Custody Laws Force Everyone Into Equal Time Sharing and Other Things You will Hear

This argument will come up in discussions with legislators and you need to be prepared. For years they have been falsely told that a change to what is often call equal custody laws will force all families that dissolve their personally relationship in the equal time for both parents. This is the misnomer that the judges use to claim that only they have the rights to decide the issues of a family that is in what we call a “Custody Battle”.

In writing and custody laws for various states as I have done and discussing this with legislators, I have focused on the fact that the current laws have a lack of baseline in determinations.  This the primary reason that children have now been placed back into the middle of an adult battle which was the main guiding thought behind no-fault divorce.  While some claim that we should eliminate no-fault divorce all together, which will never happen as it has become too engrained in the fabric of society.  That lack of baseline is the main reason behind the winner takes all mentality that exists in divorces. 

You will hear that anyone that wants these laws changed is only disgruntled about the outcome of their case and the judges will claim that is because they got it right. I always answer this with a sly snicker and a wink, and explain that I had equal custody and still want it changed and that this is one of the biggest myths about changing the law. I have described the law as one where you walk into court that you will be treated as no more of a criminal that someone that owes a parking ticket and end up getting the death sentence.

We need to focus on the fact that the legal term, “Best Interests of the Child” is legally un-definable and that under current policies and law there has been serious damage done to society. If the state cannot define it, how can a judge that knows nothing about the personal life of a family and their values, be expected to determine what best interests of the child and the family is. Those decisions must remain in the hands of the family involved.

A word of caution must be issued in a false argument that many use that their Constitutional right to equal custody is violated by current law.  That argument is a false one as you do not have a Constitutional right, you have a fundamental right.  I have previously addressed this in this article.  As it was explained to me by a Senator that Constitutional argument is far too complex for the busy schedule of a legislator and we have reduced this to a simple question that is a conversation starter of ?Why do we remove fit parents from the lives of a child every day? This method is currently in use in numerous states and it grabbing the attention needed to change the law.

Unmarried Fathers Should Have Equal Custody at Birth of the Child

So guys this is not going to happen. Under the current legal system there exists a presumption that an unmarried mother has all rights over the child until a father establishes both paternity and his custodial rights. This is fair and proper as there is no proof that the man that claims to be the father is the father. That child did not come out of your body dad.

Until a father proves or legally acknowledges by admission that he is the father of the child, the birth mother has all the rights to the child. You name as father on the birth certificate grants no legal rights and is nothing more than ink on a page. The same holds true of your paying child support. 

While some have claimed that there should be automatic DNA testing of a child born to an unwed mother, that will not happen due to expense and the liberty interest issues that it presents. I will not allow a data base to be created that infringes upon the rights of a person simply because he may or may not have impregnated a child without marrying the mother.

I have equated the establishment of paternity to the registering of a marriage license for the unmarried father. Once that step is taken, then the law is required to extend the same rights to the father that it does in a divorce and the same laws for custody determination apply. If you are an unmarried father and want equal custody of the child then it is best that you stand up and support the changes that we have proposed for the custody laws.

The System is Corrupt!!! corruption

I hear this most often when a court decision goes against a parent. Rather than blame or take responsibility for the fault in their argument, they scream corruption.

Black’s Law on corruption:

  • Illegality; a vicious and fraudulent intention to evade the prohibitions of the law. The act of an official or fiduciary person who unlawfully and wrongfully uses his station or character to procure some benefit for himself or for another person, contrary to duty and the rights of others. U. S. v. Johnson (C . C.) 20 Fed. 082; State v. Ragsdale. 59 Mo. App. 003; Wight v. Rindskopf, 43 Wis. 351; Worsham v. Murchison, 00 Ga. 719; U. S. v. Edwards (C. C.) 43 Fed. 07.
  • Take personal responsibility for your case. This is your life and the life of your child.  This is not because the system “makes money” off your child (see Federal Incentives), this is because you made a poor argument or your attorney did. You control your attorney, not the other way around.  I have seen too many parents make the mistake of not getting their attorney on board or taking the attorney’s advice even though they know it is bad.  If you are unsure about what you are being told, ask someone else. Just like with a doctor, attorney advice should be subject to a second opinion if you think it is wrong.

I ask a simple question of those that make this claim. Can you show the actual passing of a bride in order to “fix” the outcome of a case? While we have seen some cases across the land, the majority when asked will say that they cannot show a money trail.

Stop with the myth that Fathers have no rights. They have as many rights as mother do when it comes to custody of the child.

Are they hampered by bad policy and outdated thinking? Yes, the judicial survey proves that.

The real problem is in the way the law is written that fails to protect the fundamental rights of every fit parent. The real problem falls with the so-called fathers’ rights advocates of today. They are the ones that continue to spend the fasle message and hurt the efforts of all that are working for change. Too many that claim they are leaders are really ones that are hurting the chances at getting new laws passed. The new ones are a Lost Generation.

I will continue to challenge all to show me a single state statute that says that a father has and can have no rights to a child. While some are going to point to the “Baby Mama”  rule and claim it says that  a father has no rights, they fail to read the entire law, especially when these laws go on the show what it takes for a father to gain his rights. There is a reason that these laws cannot be changed also which we have explained here.

Get the Thought Out of Your Head that Awareness is Needed

The issues of problems in child custody laws have been discussed for over 20 years yet so still think it needs to be talked about. Talk is cheap and does nothing in the end to change a thing. It is the same thing as talking about needing gas in your car and then not going to get gas to correct the problem.


Looks like there again are talks beginning of a protests at statehouses across the country; closed statehouses as that as the day picked is when the legislators have already begun their summer vacations. Those suggesting that you to do this are the real evil within this system and are not working for you.

As I did before, I will do again and ask some basic questions of these whiners that are clueless on law in their states and claim that fathers have no rights. 

These poor choices in words are what stand in the way of getting good bills passed.

I want you to answer some basic questions:

  • 1.      If your child is fatherless, when did you die?
  • 2.      If your child is fatherless, why were your parental rights terminated? What crime of abuse were you found guilty of?
  • 3.      Please show me the exact language that says that a father has no rights in Ohio? For that matter in any state.
  • 4.      Why are you going to a “closed” Statehouse? Add to that explain why you are wasting a day off work to do it.
  • 5.      Can you explain the exact language within the law in your state that is flawed?
  • 6.      Can you present the solution to the language to the problems within the law in your state?

Pass the word; if anyone decides that they want to participate in this, we will have a crew of reporters there that will be asking the same questions and Ohio will not be the only state as several others have agreed to join. That video will then be released to show who is working against equal parenting.

While you are making yourself look like the disgruntled dad or mother where the Courts got it right in their decision I will be miles away in meetings to get the law changed. This is the number two argument against changes to the law, following closely behind parents want this to get out of paying child support.

Protest at the Courthouses and those inside laugh at you. I have a distant cousin that is a magistrate in a local domestic relations court. She knows what I do and I know what she does and she agrees with me that the law needs changed.  In talking about these protest she said that those within the court laugh at them and then pick out people in the crowd to then to retaliate against.  She is the fairest magistrate within the court and is amazed at the stupid things that are pulled and says these protests only have negative effects.

Many disregard the history of what these rallies and protests have done over the years.  I suggest that you learn the history of what these protests and rallies have done before you criticize me for not supporting them. The last protest when Don Tenn and Paul Fischer climbed the crane in Ohio cost us over $1 million in free lobbying. These protests do nothing but send the message that the courts got it right.

Raise awareness of a well known 20 years old problem? That is like talking about a flat tire and expecting it to fix itself.

Your failure to understand this and to check history shows and the three largest parental rights rallies ever held in this country were ones that I helped put together. In 10 days we put 200 people on Statehouse grounds in Ohio. That's more than the so-called fathers’ rights movement had at 50+ locations last year.

The second put 500 on the Ohio Statehouse grounds. The third was in DC and put 3000+ on the mall. At that rally someone (they are the ones telling the fathers rights movement to protest) decided to protest by climbing the Lincoln Memorial and almost got the entire thing shut down and all of the real leadership in this movement arrested.

I am not risking another parenting bill on a bunch of whiners and their false message and claims the fathers have no rights. If you think fathers have no rights you show me the language in any state law, and I do mean any state, where it says that fathers have no rights.

I am not going to tolerate the whining like little girls of the fathers’ rights movement. They have been repeatedly challenged to an open debate and have run away. They are not man enough to stand up and approach this problem in the proper manner. Want to whine about how bad it got in your divorce; go grab a beer at your local pub because you likely screwed yourself by not knowing the law.  Best thing they can do is stay out of the Statehouses because if you can't present the solution or describe the exact language that is the problem then you are the problem not the solution.

I meet with legislators on and off statehouse grounds all the time in formal and informal settings.  There is a lot more discussed than just changes to the custody law which is how I have gotten multiple changes done to family law (about 25) and stopped 4 child support increase bills in Ohio. 

My favorite quote so far from one of them is “the fathers’ rights movement is nothing but a bunch of whiners.”

Stop your whining and get to work talking to legislators properly or get out of the way of those that have moved well beyond this childish behavior and are acting like adults. If you don’t know the problems in the language or what the solution is, get out of the way of those that do. T-shirts and signs have cost the efforts before and this is the type of false message that will do it again. We are very close to getting the solution introduced and this is the BS that will kill it.

"Presumptions of Equal Custody are automatic and solve the problem"

If this were true than please explain why Ohio with a presumption of equal custody since prior to 1992 still awards custody by the state's admission 70% to females and 30% to males. While research shows that the real numbers for Ohio run consistent with Census Bureau numbers of 85% in favor of mothers. A study was done on one county that shows 100% in favor of mothers 5 years ago.

Nebraska has a presumption of equal custody yet custody awards are still in favor of females consistent with Census Bureau numbers.

South Dakota added a presumption of equal custody and the group that did it came out the day after it was signed into law and admitted that it would not do what they thought it would do.

For those that think all, it takes to correct law & create equal parenting, consider this. In criminal law, there exists a presumption of innocence.

If true, why does everyone charged with a crime not walk free?

Presumptions fall far short of what you are told is the goal.



Ohio Family Rights is a national free association of like minded people that work to comprehensively change the way that states and the courts view custody between divorced and never married people.  We have dedicated ourselves to correcting what has long been a major problem of socially engineering fit parents from the lives of their child every day. This goal can only be accomplished by comprehensively correcting the flaws within the “Shared Parenting laws” that are currently in place so that all fit parents and their children can benefit from equal custody. Please join us in our efforts to protect the families of this nation and the future of our children.

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