The Lost generation
The Sad State of the Fathers’ Rights Movement
I'm going to get criticized for this and I frankly don't care. I've been around the so-called fathers’ rights movement so long that I once told a young man that I was doing this before he tried to unsnapped his first girlfriend’s bra. With him as many others, it was a true statement. I have seen the Founding Fathers of this movement come and go, some passed away, but for those of us that have been around they are far from long from forgotten. Their names really mean nothing to this generation that now claims that they are fathers’ rights advocates . But those are the men that taught those of us how to properly approach this problem. They are the ones that some thought were the meanest teachers in the world, but they were far from that. They were teachers and they made those of us that they taught work.
They expected us to work and to think on pour own. They pointed us in the right direction and said “go find it and come back to me”. And the reason they did that was because they were about the grade us on what we did. They needed see if we could do the work ourselves without having our hands held constantly. But like any good teacher they were going to make sure that we do the work right but they also wanted to see if we were creative enough to expand on the arguments of the past, correct the problems or flat out come up with new approaches.
As I came in, Internet and the associated technologies were very limited. Search engines work shaky at best in helping you to find which were looking for. Often you only did find it because you stumbled on. High-speed Internet; that was waiting until all the kids got off-line and went to bed so band width was not sucked up. The most common method of getting on the Internet was dial-up. Oh the sweet sound of modem dialing a phone number and screeching as it attempted to find a local signal to get you on to what was the Internet at that time. And then the search began, well really the digging and guessing.
Law libraries of case law were at that time often reserved only for attorneys; they were expensive paid services to get onto. There were some rough that were free but they were far from comprehensive in nature and you really needed at that time to know what you were looking for because he didn't know find. The old timers shared their information with those that they knew would put it to good use. Often the only way a case was ever put together was team work and a divided the workload. One person would be assigned to go after one element of the case, another something else, and another something completely different. We all knew what the others were looking for and if we happened to stumble on something that might benefit them along the guided tour, it was passed on. At that time trying to find state statute online was nearly impossible because they were just not put up on line for all to see. The same applied to things like the Rules of Civil Procedure and the other various rules of the court that with a couple of quick clicks now and you can find, if you go look. Yes it was the Stone Age of the Internet but there was a lot more real work got done.
But has all that improved technology moved anything forward as younger people have come in to the so-called movement? That answer is pretty simple, no it hasn't. Unfortunately the new generation has become so enamored with smart phone technology that they are blind to the real world. They walk around with a small handheld device that they can get on the Internet with and they go to their favorite search engine, type in a couple of keywords and their magical little search engine tells them what it wants them to hear. Not the right answer, but what the search engine wants them to hear. Search engines don't give you the best answer they give you the most popular answer and while it may be popular that I answer can be wrong for your question. That is why the so-called fathers rights advocates of today accept these wrong answers thinking that their right just because they are popular. This same acceptance of popular answers is why certain myths continue and why progress is slowed in changing laws and winning cases that advance the cause.
The so-called Fathers’ Rights Movement of today is not a movement of action, is the movement of whining and complaining. They continued to talk about how the law is biased against them, yet none of them to show any language in any state statute that says that her father has no rights. They don't take the time to read the law. They don't take the time to understand what the real problem is. They continue to think that they are going to win their cases by continuing to fight yet they use old tired failing arguments. They lack creativity.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement continues to fall prey to the very people that have been working against them and they will not accept what the truth is told. You can put everything in front of their face but they refuse to read and understand what they're being told. But if one speaks up and criticizes those that have been working against all of us they attack that person for not doing what they want.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement seems to think that they are going to protest their way out of this problem. That is because they've fallen under the influence of the misguided that have never paid attention to history of the movement. Protests have never worked and in fact have worked against us. Case in point there was a protest done in Ohio some years ago in which to F4J members climbed the crane on the campus of the Ohio State University. They shut down that construction site for five days. That shut down cost every worker on that site a week’s wages. That shut down all discussion of changes to the law and Ohio for 3 years. We had to wait until many of the legislators that were in place at that time left office so we can begin discussions again. That protest also ended an ongoing negotiation that would have added $200,000 worth of free lobbying power to this organization. I was in the final stages of bringing major union support and their lobbying power to back the changes. All out the window because somebody got stupid, put on their Superman and Batman costume and climbed the crane. One of those two people will not set foot back in the state of Ohio; the other is permanently banned from the Statehouse.
And now we hear the rumbling again of protests for June. We hear them say we need to go tell them that our children are fatherless. Every time anybody says to me that their child is fatherless I ask them one of two questions; what abuse were you charged with that rights were terminated or what funeral home should I send flowers to? Because the only way that your child is fatherless is if your rights were 100% terminated or if you are dead. Stop the false message which is horse chestnuts. Oh I know where this protest stuff comes from and that is because the Fathers’ Rights Movement has chosen to listen to people like Bobby Dickerson, a.k.a. Bobby Lee and Donald Tenn. Got a little tip for you, I did go to DC a few years back when they were there. Fathers’ Rights Movement should go ask them why they didn't have guts enough to face me down when they had the opportunity and the invite. Both of them refused to do so. Why don’t you ask Don Tenn why when years ago many of the original members of F4J USA asked see the books he refused and instead cut them off and threw them out of the organization? What you asking how many members he really had us because I suspect the numbers are not anywhere near what he says. No, Dickerson and Tenn are both false leaders that both lost their cases and have done nothing to help themselves. I see Dickerson posting in groups asking for help because he is so far behind in his child support but it doesn't matter because he never fought his case right in the beginning. He can't understand why his driver's license is suspended and simply refuses to pay to support his child. Dickerson is a deadbeat.
Things that make you go huh and wonder why TFRM is in such lockstep with NPO!
National Parents Organization
Questonable actions in Ohio
Why would the founder, Ned Holstein, of that organization only respond when asked to point out the flaws of that bill only respond "We don't think it can pass?"
Why would an organization be lobbying for changes to an already introduced bill 9 months after they received a courtesy copy and 4 months after that bill was introduced?
Why would an organization that claims they are for equal parenting block an equal parenting bill?
Why would a member of an organization that claims to support equal parenting go against his own local board and refuse to make a phone call to allow an equal parenting bill move forward in committee?
Why would a national board member of a so-called equal parenting organization show up at an interested parties meeting and attempt to weaken language in an already introduced bill and then failed to support as to why? See the notes from that meeting
Why would a board member of a so-called equal parenting organization show up at a primary sponsor's home and ask him to pull an equal custody bill from consideration? This was confirmed by the state rep that was involved. Why would a board member of a so-called equal parenting organization show up at a primary sponsor's home and ask him to pull an equal custody bill from consideration? This was confirmed by the state rep that was involved.
Why would a national board member of a so-called equal parenting organization show up at an interested parties meeting and attempt to get introduced a presumption during temporary orders when Ohio has a presumption at all times of and order? See our response to that meeting
Why would a national board member of a so-called equal parenting organization support a child support bill that increases child support obligations by as much as 27%? The board member served on the Child Support Guideline Review 3 times until he quit claiming that they wouldn't listen to him. That is very understandable since he hasn't been able to speak up or support himself in Interested Parties Meeting. Problem isn't with them listening; the problem is with his ability to standup.
Why would the Executive Director Rita Fuerst of that organization contact other organizations demanding that they couldn't introduce anything unless they vetted the bill first? Confirmed by a group that was working with in Arizona on some of the last changes they needed to complete equal parenting in that state.
Why would the Executive Director Rita Fuerst of that organization invite a known associate of mine to a phone conference of people in Nebraska and then the first three voices heard when he checked in say "That's not Ray." Must have been afraid the truth would come out about their tactics and that they were blocking the Ohio bill.
Why would the Executive Director Rita Fuerst of that organization demand that all that choose to associate with them sign a confidentiality agreement? She said it in the phone conversation.
Why would the founder, Ned Holstein, of that organization when given a chance at real changes in Massachusetts by sitting on their Family Task Force oppose strong language in the bill they worked on? He kept saying, "We don't think it can pass." This seems to be the only thing he knows how to say and this is confirmed to me by another member of that Task Force.
What has National Parents Organization done with the $1,339,128 during 2012,2013,2014,2015? See them here See them here
Why does NPO feel the need to buy placed articles in newspapers making claims of great things that they have does? Oops, sorry I can answer that; it is because that is how non-profits stay in business. Do nothing, claim you are doing something and ask for money so you can continue to do the same.
Why does National Parents Organization tell all that the Swedish model is better than what we have in the United States when it is almost identical to what is in all states? Same garbage the Divorce Corp tried to push. Talking to attorneys that were being recruited for that "movie" Divorce Corp. admitted that they got their information on Wikipedia. See what the actual Swedish Law is
Why would National Parents Organization supporters in Nebraska insist that a presumption bill be introduced when Nebraska already has a presumption? BTW an equal custody bill was being pushed by an independent group at the time. End result was another failed effort in Nebraska, pissed off a senator that swore that there would not be any changes introduced so long as she was in office, and further slowing of the effort to bring equal parenting to that state?
Why would National Parents Organization supporters in Nebraska contact people that were circulating petitions to place an equal custody ballot initiative before the entire state to not turn in or continue to gather signatures. This was confirmed by a Nebraska Senator.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement is manipulated by the likes of the Palmers whose sole purpose is to sell their book. They been asked numerous times to show a single case where there theories have worked in a courtroom, yet they can't. Neither one of them has any grasp or understanding of constitutional law. Neither one of them has any understanding of the Constitution, period. Their only concern is to sell you a book and create false hope. They fall right in line with the numerous people on the Internet who want to sell you their proven method of winning your case and then once they get your money they walk away from you. No one has any guaranteed or proven method of winning any case. With all the cases that I have worked on and frankly written, through the years, every single one of them has been different and has required a different approach. Cookie-cutter approaches do not work and never have. Boilerplate templates do not work and never have. Boilerplate templates clearly show their own errors as soon as their filed. Do you honestly think that a boilerplate template written by some guy in Washington state is going to work in Florida, Ohio, Maryland, or name any state, it doesn't matter, they won't work. Every state law is different. Although similar, but they are different. Until you read every state law you don't understand the differences that are there. But the Fathers’ Rights Movement people will fall prey to these booksellers every day.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement is loaded with false advocates like Melissa Collene who make claims which they cannot support. She will tell you she has this great program that will get you custody or some vague reference to a parenting plan scheme of hers but what she really does is act a shill for attorneys as best anyone can tell. No one can tell because she will never give a straight answer. She isn’t working to change the law; she is working to keep the problem going. She has a fake Ohio Equal parenting page on Facebook but posts nothing about Ohio or who she is talking with. Good reason, she is talking to no one in Columbus.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement is loaded with the likes of people like Torm Howse that have that prefer to scam their way thru life. He has been investigated for years and has an extensive record which he admits to. Heck easiest thing for you to do is read up on him yourself.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement people fall at the feet of RK Hendricks thinking that he is some great fathers’ rights attorney. They've never bothered to check to see why he is not practicing law. I have and he doesn't like the fact that I know exactly why. He was suspended for giving somebody money from his iota account which is money that an attorney holds in trust for client. When I found out why he was suspended and I challenged him on it his reply was "so what I would do it again". That is someone you want as a leader? Someone that has admitted that he is a common thief. He is nothing more than another book seller. Yet you claim the system is corrupt when the true corruption is with someone you think is a leader.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement has become so loaded with people who say that they want to change the law but do nothing but sit on their hands. There isn't a day goes by that I don't see some new group pop up on Facebook that claims it's going to change the world and they don't do a thing but whine and post pictures. The Fathers’ Rights Movement claims that they want unity yet the very people that are working are the ones that the attack with her bully tactics. So I get criticized for not getting the big one passed but the same ones that are criticizing have never even sniffed the dance floor. The same ones that are criticizing don't even know all the changes that I have gotten that benefit them. The same ones that are criticizing don't know that I've stopped four child support increase bills in Ohio. By the way one of those bills National Parents Organization claims that they stopped which is far from the truth. That bill was stopped before they even opened their mouth. They continued talking and they almost got that bill reintroduced. And what was the Senator and her aid telling everyone in the Statehouse, "we are educating these fathers’ rights people on why child support should be increased". They were making a laughing stock on Don Hubin and NPO.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement is supporting Divorce Corp. aka NPO Jr. but they have never checked out the stories. There was a guy from Ohio in that movie that father quit on his child. Jorge never bothered to check that story out. I know the real story and we were talking with Mark Byron and had offered to help to both him and his attorneys. Mark was fighting the domestic violence advocates in Cincinnati and we knew how to beat of them because we had done it the year before. The last message I got from him was asking me if he should just accept the standard order of visitation that they were offering him and I told him no. He had equal custody of his other son and if he had listened to us he would have equal custody of his youngest son. One guy in Cincinnati ran in the Mark not too long ago and told him, "you quit on your son" and all Mark could do was hang his head in shame because he had just heard the truth and he knew that he had. Mark chose 15 minutes of fame of his child.
Somebody explain to me why if Jorge from Divorce Corp. is such a great advocate of change then why what he was challenged to debate me on the issues he ran away, just like the rest of the Fathers’ Rights Movement has. You explain to me why Jorge wants us all to believe that Swedish law is better than what we have now, you obviously have never read their law. I have and it is the same failed shared parenting laws that we have in every state of this union. Don't believe me read it for yourself. Divorce Corp. is claiming now that they're going to do all these great things in all these great all the states yet they're not telling anybody what they're doing. They have yet to put anything on their great Familypedia that they've created stating what the flaws are in the law. I actually looked at what they claimed was wrong in Ohio and what they wanted to change, funny because it is the same crap that NPO was pushing. It is the same crap that will do nothing but continue the problem. It is the same crap that has failed before. And will continue to fail because they use a tired and worn-out approach of complaining about the results rather than showing what the actual flaws are in the language. If you can't present the solution at the same time as you present the problem you have and will continue to fail. Jorge, you are a true farce.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement of today will not take time to learn what is necessary to fight their own case but will complain about the expense of their attorney . They won't take the time to learn how to write a simple motion. They won't take the time to read the Rules of Civil Procedure. They won't take the time to read the law. They won't take the time to read the local court rules. They will not take the time to search out case law that fits their circumstances. They won't think outside the box that they have allowed themselves to beat into. They have become the lost generation.
They have become the lost generation for many reasons. They have become the lost generation because of failed policies over the last 20 years within the states that have allowed fit parents to be removed from their lives. They have become the lost generation because they were raised in homes where their fathers were shoved out by judicial discretion and the admitted mindset by judges that only a mother could raise a child. The tender years doctrine was supposed to have ended in the 70s but it has continued. They are the lost generation because they won't take the steps to get themselves educated by sitting down at a computer, not a smart phone, a computer, to research the information that they need to fight their cases or to work on what is necessary to change the law. If for one minute you think that that smart phone is your best friend you're wrong. How dumb down as the smart phone generation become? I actually had someone ask me what an e-mail was. That is dumb down. Phones are for talking not for working on major projects. Walk into any productive office and see if there working on smart phones or if there working on computers. This is not work for smart phone or for Facebook, this is work for a good old-fashioned computer and a lot of but time.
While those of us that have been around for a long time are more than willing to train the next generation but the next generation may have already been lost. There are guys that are popping up and they are learning and they are being patiently brought along but it takes time. My generation of the Fathers’ Rights Movement has been “retiring” and over the years and some of the good ones as I said have passed on or walked away, I'm sure that some that walked away in disgust of what this movement has become. I've stayed even though I am disgusted for one reason and one reason I, to make sure that the law is changed to protect my son.
The current Fathers’ Rights Movement is a lost generation.
Ohio Family Rights is a national free association of like minded people that work to comprehensively change the way that states and the courts view custody between divorced and never married people. We have dedicated ourselves to correcting what has long been a major problem of socially engineering fit parents from the lives of their child every day. This goal can only be accomplished by comprehensively correcting the flaws within the “Shared Parenting laws” that are currently in place so that all fit parents and their children can benefit from equal custody. Please join us in our efforts to protect the families of this nation and the future of our children.
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